Picaro’s Log

I was on my way back to KL from S’pore.
The very first of the plan was KL - S’pore - NZ.
If I didn’t change my mind, I would be on the air flying to Auckland now instead of typing this blog in my room.
If I keep on to my plan , I would be starting on a new and unknown journey in my life.
Well, its the unknown journey staying back to KL too.
Well, too many of the "if-s…."
Back to reality, here I declare…
I’m still in KL, back to the ordinary life.
To those who read my blog all this while, please do not be annoyed of my kept mentioning of NZ WHM.
It would probably be the last time I’d mention…
22 Dec 2007.

So long~ my dear little Whisky. May u rest in peace.

In memories of Whisky Mario 16 Oct 2007

I just got to know a friend was in Finland. wow, Finland. One of my dream destination to go to. Well, I have a lots of dream destinations besides Finland, its Tibet, Europe, Canada, Russia, Hawaii…
I’ve was amazed by friends who could or currently at overseas, studying, working , backpacking and so forth. I’m always wanted to be out of Malaysia. Not that I don’t like Malaysia. But, there are just some unknown and mysterious adventure outside that I really wish to explore. The ideal plan is staying at that plan for a month or two to get to know the lifestyle, the culture , the people at a new country. Unfortunately, it the basic rules apply. Money and visa. Well, as a low income worker, it’s almost impossible to save money with ur pay , go travel for a month or two without any income. A working holiday is great. Unfortunately, as a Malaysian, you couldnt get much working holiday destination. Only UK and NZ is opened for Malaysian for a working holiday. Too bad, all my dream destinations are out of the list. What to do? the only things I could is just work locally, save enough to grant a student visa to explore the places where i want to go. It’s life! Facts that u couldn’t change for being a M’sian. I could just keep being amazed by friends of overseas…

不知从何时起， 就常用 “习惯就好” 这四个字。
很多事情，开始时会很抗拒， 日子旧了， 习惯就好。

前几天， 有个来了几个月的新同事问了我一句 ，“其实你到底是做什么的啊？开始时以为你是副导，可是约来约觉得你像个剪接师。。。”
这个问题，他不是第一个问我的人， 大部分刚来的新同时或trainee 都会问我同一个问题。 刚开始时， 我有尝试在找答案， 日子旧了，不得要领。我曾听过一句话， “改变不能接受的，接受不能改变的” 。 有些事情不能改变，唯有接受。 接受就了， 就便习惯了。 也习惯性的回答同个答案 “我什么都做的 ， 下次有工开记得叫我哦！哈哈。。” 哈啦几句，就把问题带过了。习惯就好的心态， 是让自己好过一点吧。漫长的人生，不能每件事情都得到确定的答案， 黑和白之间，是有灰色地带的，得不到答案的灰色地带， 就把它变成习惯啦。。。。

习惯了就好了！

I’ve just finished watching " THe Princess’s Diary"  1 & 2 in a roll , which I’ve been wanting to watch long long long long time ago. The movie didnt put me down , and I was well entertained after a day of headache work from my BELOVED JOBS . After watching, I was so so so so admire "Princess Mia’s little Genovia country" . A peaceful, small european country which I always wanted to live in (too sick of KL’s life )

Well , let’s crap about the princess thingy here ..
Princess. I did dream of being one when I was little. I believe most of us did .
In younger day, Princess to me is the King’s daughter, who has all the things in the world. Living in Palace, wearing nice dress and tiara, marry a prince and living happily ever after…..as what the fairy tales told.  Knewing more of the cruelty of real life as I growing up, THE PRINCESS dream is no longer in mind , fairy tale was just a tale . But, what’s for sure? I am always the princess of my parents haha and as for prince… well, lets faith do the its job.
Princess rules

阔别差不多十个月，又重新回到了 control room 这个舞台。对！ 舞台。舞者在台前有个面向观众的舞台，幕后，我们自己也有个舞台。 一个面向 8 - 10 个monitor screen 的舞台。 可能是我的最后四个show ，终于发现，原来很享受在这个幕后的舞台，像颠婆一样的在control room 大喊，在看两个stopwatch 在倒数，同时在看5 个 camera shots , 在那小小的switcher 里switch 那 ISO ， 还那全场都要听的 "standby 5,4,3,2,1…"

导演的一声CUT! 后，要表演的也表演完了，要出错的也出完了， 要气的也气完了！ 一个 black screen,  一个 Wrap 字， 幕后人表演的舞台也完了，，剩下的就只有那几卷等待剪接的带子。。。。

工作两年以来，我自问是个蛮勤力的。
一直以来，工作时间的不定，十多二十个小时对我来说也没什么，也不觉得累，只是偶尔会埋怨没有OT 。有人说我是贱骨头，我也一笑罢之，因为相信还有值得拼得理由。

近期，我累了。mentally 的累。
突然的改变，老板们的斗争，小人的搞怪，都一一的看在眼里。
开始也会以好奇的心态，旁观事情的发展。
久而久之，对这种工作环境开始厌倦了。
昨天老板给我说“人生道理 ”，“未来的前途 ” 等的话题， 如果是两年前的我，一定会被那些道理全都给听进去了。现在听起来，只可回之一笑。再听不如耳的，就也给一些自己的看法，也不管老板听后，会不会不爽， 不管了，反正“都吾捞啰！ ”。
前阵子妈说，我工作后，变得越来越凶了。 现在回想起，不是凶了，只是以前驯 和 无知罢了， 现在人也比较现实了，从教训中变聪明了，胆子也比以前大了。

还记得现公司的一个前同事给我说的一句话 “别这么拼，生病了老板是不会同情你的 ”。刚开始也不怎么觉得这句话的可信度。那时还是个刚毕业的小Y头， 一直在拼，深信总有一天会有同等的回报。但，越来越发现，职场上是没有公平的。 实力不再是首要条件了。 运气，口才，擦鞋的本领才是成功的重点。 实力，只是让你成为更上一级的牛罢了。然而，牛依然只可在默默的耕田。万一有一天你成为了一个病牛，那就永不超生了。现在，真的很感谢那位同事给的那句劝告。

还好，留在这片田耕种的日子不多，也很庆幸在做牛的日子里学到了很多教训。 至少还未被狐狸，柴狼  吞噬，也不至于做牛做到油尽灯枯。及时地抽身，脑海里至少还有美好和快乐的回忆， 那些以前一起在这片田里一起拼搏的前牛同事们，一起拼会来的成就感。虽然人事已非，辞职的辞职，转行的转行，长辞的长辞 ，很开心一路上有你们。
很快的，就会成为一头自由自在，漂洋过海的牛了。
倒数在这片人面全非的田的日子，快活的做个牛吧。 加油！

过了一个漫长，难熬的星期
S公司的突变，让我看到了很多东西
J公司的态度 ，让我从新评估
M公司的人事，陌生的环境, 以前熟习的同事，亲切，吵吵闹闹的同事一个一个的离开了。
以前的M 公司是个大家庭，现在的M公司是个公司。
以前的S公司是个闹市，现在的S公司是个废区。

在这星期的经历，让我本来从怀有一丝的犹豫要离开，变得恨不得快点搭飞机离开。

变，是不可改变的定律
可是，变了一定会好吗?

Sa-wa-dee ka
khorb-koon-ka
Thats what I’ve learned during the 3days in Phuket.
Although I did learn too little of the thai but I’ve got much fun and more sun burned then I expected.
The first day is mauvais. The flight attendants weren’t nice nor polite ( personally, the worse flight attendants I’ve ever meet) . The weather wasn’t good. Cloudy and rainy all day long in the Island. But, this didn’t stop us from having our fun…(as usual, the noisiest in the aircraft I guess ..muahaha) 
Upon arrival, it was a disappointment as no sunshine to welcome us but heavy shower for Sa-wa-dee-ka.
Along the road, was the unknown character on the road sign and after 1hr of up & down winding road, we reached Patong Beach. The rain was still on and the day was getting dark. Time for the Fantasea, the very first of our itenary. The huge theathe and hundreds of performers (humans, elephants, tigers, chickies, doves) made a brilliant show. It’s the first of my life time that i felt Elephants could be so adorable :D. And guess what after next? To the Seven, the most visited place throughout the whole journey. Oh, if u wonder what is Seven, well its 7-eleven for the locals. Grabbed some drinks & food ( Pork instant noodle, Pork instant porriage, pork & pork & porK - which are not existed on M’sia’s Seven ) and there goes our first chilly, freezy, rainny night of Phuket.

" You bring the sunshine back! " said a South African lady on the second day. The story goes like this… The 2nd day, just right after the breakie in the hotel and heading back to our room, a lady in her 50’s hopped into the lift just right before the door closed. The big nice smile on her face said that we bring the sunshine back to Phuket when she knew we are from M’sia. Oh ya, the second day is clear and sunny and everyone is pumped up for a great day. A 15mins walk, we reached the shore. Bikinis, parachut, surf boards…. wowww.. It’s kinda huge wave, but still we jumped into the sea. Huge wave pushed us back to the shore, at the next second, the rip current curled us back into the sea. I looked pretty clumsy, rolling on the shore it’s hard to fight over the rip current. I felt the Tsunami… (Amen to the victims) . After getting some wave and sun burn, we did a little shopping and then it was time for dinner. We hopped into a restaurant and served by a multi-lingual uncle.. cantonese, hokkien, hakka, english, thai… GENG AHHHH .
The weather for the third day is the best. But too bad, its time to go home. Bye bye to Phuket. I miss u. I miss the satay pork on the street, miss the thai language, miss the worry-free days, miss the sun , miss miss miss……..

countdown = 0
We have waited for 7 months, finally the day has arrived.
The first overseas trips of " The Dryes".
Frankly speaking… I ain’t too excited for now.
Could it be waited for too long ?
Could it be too tired of worksss?
Could it be …?
Well, I guess I need some warm ups after too much of "cutting" and "cutting" in Premiere…
The Noises of the gang.. its gonna hit things up right, gals?